The Birthday Dirge

LANCE hasn't been around for long, be we have enough of a grip on our cultural identity to know that the average "Happy Birthday to You" song just isn't going to cut it. We think that LANCE members deserve a little something extra from their birthday wishes, and so I present to you The Birthday Dirge:

The lyrics vary widely, but there are a couple of sites that have gathered many of the more popular verses together into one place for your perusal and amusement. PunkWalrus.com and FAQs.org both offer an excellent selection of verses. Here are just a few of my favorites:

Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep

You've one lesson yet to learn
First you pillage, then you burn

May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake

I'm sure the creative-minded members of LANCE can come up with some good verses as well. If anyone's got a new verse to add, especially one that's themed to LANCE, leave it for us in a comment below!

Anyway, you get the idea of the song: doom and gloom and happy birthday, you burly old coot. That's exactly the sort of quality ditty LANCE members have come to expect from this troupe, and The Birthday Dirge rises to the occasion beautifully.

Welcome to your new favorite birthday song, and thanks for reading!

--Casey, Webmaster

P.S. Happy birthday, Ian!