Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep
You've one lesson yet to learn
First you pillage, then you burn
May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake
I'm sure the creative-minded members of LANCE can come up with some good verses as well. If anyone's got a new verse to add, especially one that's themed to LANCE, leave it for us in a comment below!
Anyway, you get the idea of the song: doom and gloom and happy birthday, you burly old coot. That's exactly the sort of quality ditty LANCE members have come to expect from this troupe, and The Birthday Dirge rises to the occasion beautifully.
Welcome to your new favorite birthday song, and thanks for reading!
P.S. Happy birthday, Ian!